Archive for the ‘Comedy’ Category

Fake musing:

Posted: May 9, 2013 by kingcrimsonprog in Comedy

When people talk about the decline of record sales, they never think of the real financial victims… drug dealers.
These poor, self-made business men made their fortunes vicariously through the success of coked out Ozzys and Poisons and Ratts and Zeppelins… when you download an album, you make Stephen Adler have to work harder for a hit.
There, maybe now you’ll all stop being so selfish. ”

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Joke

Posted: June 28, 2010 by kingcrimsonprog in Comedy

What do you call a robot who isn’t very outgoing ?
A Shy-borg

Cannibal Corpse Joke Titles.

Posted: May 24, 2010 by kingcrimsonprog in Comedy

It seems I spend an unnaturally large amount of my time in conversations creating alternative Cannibal Corpse song titles and having them created back by the other conservationists. I decided to blog some of them here:

1. Shredded Wheat
2. Eddible Underwear
3. Let Them Live !
4. Tumble Dried
5. Locations: the Same, Intact Brains
6. Born in a Hospital
7. The Undead Aren’t Hungry Right Now
8. Bloody Chunks (for a wholesome fishing trip)
9. A Maggot Full of Skulls [*Magnum Valentino*]
10. Buried in the Cemetery

1. Pork Sword Sodomy
2. Gut Transplant
3. Regular Dissection
4. Under the Regular Flesh
5. Vomit the Beer.
6. Butchered @ Beef (.com)
7. Sterile Amputation
8. Innards Sustain

1. Hammer Smashed Fence [*Magnum Valentino*]
2. I Cum Semen
3. Addicted to Cigarettes
4. Sutured
5. Person with acceptable sexual appetites
6. The Unambiguous Stench
7. Young Person’s Pap Smear
8. Nocturnal Ejaculation
9. Before The Cemetery

1. Staring through the Eyes of the Living
2. Buttered With a Knife
3. Dressed, Shagged and Heimliched
4. Tapped
5. Remained with Flesh
6. The Pick-Axe Sculptures
7. She was Subtle
8. The Clotting [*Magnum Valentino*]
9. Force Fed Organic Fruit
10. A Deterrent from Homicide

1. Ignored by Vermin
2. Mummified in Bandages
3. Perverts Suffering
4. Intact
5. Woodlands
6. Punctured Tyre Inconvenience
7. Sporadic Beating
8. True Love
9. Feces from the Insides
10. Orgasm through Lovemaking
11. Duolith

1. I Wont Kill You
2. Body Unmoved
3. Sentence to Prison
4. Rain Drenched Commendation
5. Gallery of Modern Art
6. Left Unharmed
7. From Solid To Liquid
8. Divide the Dead
9. Tracheotomy
10. Chambers of Commerce
11. In full Possession of a Head
12. Every Rule Broken
13. Seconds of Torment
14. Hugging the Beloved

1. Mortar and Pestle
2. Dead Kennedys Collection
3. Leashing the Bloodthirsty
4. The Spinal Surgeon
5. Ecstasy in the Club
6. A Date with the Beast
7. Kitten Feeder
8. Guillotine Decapitation
9. Blowtorch Welder
10. Palatable Status Quo

1. Civilized Butchery
2. Hatchet to the Wood
3. Pit of Moshers
4. Dormant Bubbles Bursting
5. Compelled to Medicate
6. Drowning in Sea Water
7. Hung and Dried
8. Age Defying Treatment
9. Restoration of the Cadaver
10. When Fresh Replaces Ripe
11. Handsome

1. Pot Head Stoner
2. Depressive Estimate
3. Decency Observed
4. Careful Disembowelment
5. The Welcome Spawn [*Magnum Valention*]
6. Cyanide Escape
7. Festering on a Cliff
8. Renewable Things to Mutilate
9. Elective Sex Change
10. Naturally Occurring Landslide
11. Born
12. Bent Forwards and Mended
13. They Deserved Rewards

I’ll do the rest later.